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    September 21

    束缚

    人的可悲,在于有过多的束缚。忽然发现自己没有以前洒脱了,忽然发现大家都有一些犹豫了,忽然发现生活原来是那么真实得可怕。我不再喜欢庸人自扰,不再想说原来自己有多么可笑。只是发现现在的我已经找不到什么词语来形容了,每天这样重复又重复地劳作,我不知道我的尽头在哪里。为什么总是要又这样那样的顾虑,难道有人的必要性,就只是为了证明顾虑的存在?拖着超痛无比的脚,继续站在那里工作,我可以认为这是一种敬业精神的体现吗?还是这只是一种顾虑的反射。都说考虑得太多,就无法洒脱;犹豫得太久,只能随波逐流。真的好羡慕号羡慕那些可以不顾一切去追求的人。
    突然有一天发现,自己一直以来追求的,只是一个虚假的幻像,当一切都如此真实地呈现在你的眼前,当很久没有出现的那个人,突然再次出现,会不会觉得这是上天对你的一种眷顾,更是给你可以再次认清自己的机会。
    不得不承认,我是个自私的人。我想我应该对别人再宽容些的,这样自己也可以好过些。我们都有自己的处事原则,我们都有自己的辩解才能,我们都有将他人抹黑的那股与生俱来的能力。有些能力是不需要学习的,就像是人的本能。
    我努力针扎着,或者我从来未曾为了挣脱束缚而努力,更可怕的是我一直再享受着束缚,这简直是个可怕的念头。我不记得,更不可能知道,是在什么时候,什么样的情况下,做了什么事,而导致了今天这样一个局面。蝴蝶效应,我曾经真诚信服的一个理论,成为而今解不开的一个束缚。

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